Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Jeneé Osterheldt to divorcing friend: 'Wrestle, damn you!'

Posted by on Wed, Jul 20, 2011 at 11:24 AM

click to enlarge The sound of one hand clapping.
  • The sound of one hand clapping.

As a butterfly flaps its wings in Malaysia and frogs rain down on Costa Rica, so it goes that Kansas City Star columnist Jeneé Osterheldt picks up her remote control a few hours before deadline and causes a flood of clichés.

In today's wet lump of rah-rah, the bromide cyborg says a friend's recent announcement of impending divorce made her think of just one thing: "channel surfing" upon one-legged wrestler Anthony Robles picking up his Jimmy V award on ESPN.

Anticipating an average reader's "Are you fucking kidding me?" forehead slap, Osterheldt writes: "I know being born with one leg might seem like a far stretch from a lost love, but here's the thing. We all have personal challenges."



Right. Because nothing cements the bonds of friendship and

affirms one's limitless potential like the verbal equivalent of handing

your brokenhearted pal an old VHS copy of Rudy

Adhering

to her usual template, Osterheldt yields most of her summing-up space

to a quote -- this time, Robles' Nike-commercial-ready acceptance

speech. Then she drops back in: "Simply put: We all have to wrestle our

way through the obstacles in our path. No tapping out."

She's

right. And standing in the path of literate Kansas Citians are two huge

obstacles: Jeneé Osterheldt and her cable subscription.


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