Today in news that sounds sort of gross but really isn't gross, I guess, comes word that Massage Envy is organizing a Guinness World Record attempt for most massages given at one time this fall.
Scheduled for Sept. 17 at 6 p.m. at the K, massage therapists from all across this great land are invited to come and rub down some stranger in the parking lot. See? That sounds bad.
Anyway, if you want to help, organizers aren't stipulating that you have to be a trained massage therapist. I guess you could also offer your back for manipulating.
Participants will get free stadium parking, free tickets to the Royals/ChiSox game, a T-shirt, and a mug.
Go back to your business, already.