He then gives the props for being "loaded with young talent" including Eric Hosmer and "Moose tacos over at third." But then he says the team is no better than unhygienic, jalapeno-popper-pushing waiters.
Stevens'/Fitzy's shared brain wonders: "Has baseball ever
considered shutting them down?" He explains his thinking: "You know like
if there were like a chain restaurant, like Applebee's or Fridays, and
like they were doing really good, but there's just like this one
restaurant, this one particular location that's usually just really bad
-- like Applebee's, we're killing it, but we got this one joint in
Kansas City that's just terrible. All the waiters, they never shave,
they're kinda dirty, I'm not sure they showered, the food's always gross
-- that would get shut down! But the Royals continue to play baseball,
and they're almost up to three decades with no playoffs. Ohn-real."
Of course, the irony of Fitzy's little rant is that
the Royals' postseason drought isn't even the longest in baseball. The
Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos franchise hasn't had a taste of the