Hometown: Garden City, Kansas. (Not the one in Missouri, which I am convinced is some sort of bizarre Fringe-esque parallel universe with copies of everyone from my childhood encased in amber.)
Current neighborhood: The Plaza
Who or what is your sidekick? My iPhone 5. From the future
What career would you choose in an alternate reality? I’d likely be encased in amber in Garden City, Missouri.
What was the last local restaurant you patronized? Beer Kitchen No. 1 in Westport. I’d slap my grandma for a serving of their veggie cheatloaf. (Hi grandma — hope your surgery went well!)
Where do you drink? Beer Kitchen No. 1, Hurricane Allies and Manifesto. I usually ask Dead Wait director of photography Brandon Cummins where good bartenders are and follow his lead. The man knows his booze.
Favorite arts organization: The UMKC Conservatory of Music and Dance is doing some amazing stuff right now, especially with the way they’re integrating iPads into their curriculum and exploring how technology can be incorporated into traditional musical arrangement and composition.
Favorite place to spend a significant portion of your paycheck: Love Garden Sounds in Lawrence
What local phenomenon do you think is overrated? To each their own, but the Plaza Art Fair just rubs me the wrong way.
Where do you like to take out-of-town guests? Oklahoma Joe’s, Boulevard Brewery, Blue Koi, Mudpie, Glacé, Waldo Pizza. Visitors never leave hungry.
Finish this sentence: “Kansas City screwed up when it...” Failed to prepare itself for the inevitable zombie apocalypse by following the detailed plans I outlined for them in late 2009.
“Kansas City got it right when it...” Built the Kauffman Center - a symbol of hope in a region where the arts are under assault from all sides.
What TV show are you embarrassed to admit you watch? I watched the first season of The Apprentice. What’s the statute of limitations on bad TV?
______________ takes up a lot of space in my iTunes: Ben Folds concert bootlegs. I could do a “Dick’s Picks” collection for him if he’d let me.
What movie do you watch at once a year? I watch Annie Hall, Jaws and Rushmore at least two or three times a year.
Celebrity you’d like to take on a gondola ride: Katharine Hepburn. Or perhaps just Cate Blanchett playing her in The Aviator.
Person or thing you find really irritating at this moment: Armchair pundits. Get out from behind your keyboard and make something, asshats. Why don’t you redesign the iPhone 4S?
What subscription — print, digital, etc. — do you value most? My subscription to the CriterionCast podcast. It never fails to entertain and inform.
What is your most embarrassing dating moment? Having a woman break up with me on the second date for being “too Larry David.” Don’t wanna ruin my chances with future ladies, so let’s save the specifics of that for another day.
What was the most important thing you learned in school? Always, always, always have a backup plan.
People might be surprised to know that I ______________: Do a mean karaoke version of Ke$ha’s Sleazy.
Describe a recent triumph: Not being booed off the stage at a KCUR event where the producers forced (FORCED!) me to do my Woody Allen impression.
Favorite match you’ve refereed? Dan Hillaker vs. David Crawford on the set of Dead Wait’s second season. It was an epic rematch, and a lot of fun to shoot.
New episodes of Justin Parlette's zombie web series Dead Wait premiere on Wednesdays through November 9 at http://dead-wait.com/.