
The Westboro Baptist Church protested Van Halen's show at the Sprint Center on Tuesday night. Not exactly a surprise. But the Phleps clan's protesters were interrupted by a group of air guitarists, including Eric "Mean" Melin and Nielsen "Thunderball" Nacis, jamming to "Panama." The protesters appear ... bored and unamused.
Also, U.S. Air Guitar is coming back to Kansas City with a regional competition at the Beaumont Club on Friday, June 22.
One of Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback's pet projects has been keeping rural communities alive by using tax breaks to repopulate areas that are losing residents. The CBS Evening News reported Friday that one real-estate developer is doing his bit to ensure that people moving out to the sticks will have a nifty place to live. CBS reports (with the comically vague "Central Kansas" dateline) that Denver-based developer Larry Hall has poured his life savings into an old nuclear missile silo. Hall's plans call for seven condo units priced at $2 million each, and, the report says, they will be the only homes in America that can survive a direct nuclear attack.
Hall, who calls the project "survival condo," told CBS that he has sold only one unit besides his. Hall sounds like he would be an interesting neighbor, if you don't mind the lack of daylight. When asked why he wants to live in a self-sufficient hole in the Earth, he told CBS, "Terrorists, dirty bomb, pandemic, a comet strike or a meteor strike ... It's not 'if' they're going to happen, it's 'when' they're going to happen."
Is there really more to be said than the headline? OK, here goes: Dennis Gress, 69, was arrested Wednesday for allegedly having sex with his neighbor's dog in Salina, Kansas, according to KCTV5. And this apparently wasn't the first time. Gress allegedly had "sexual contact" with the same dog in September, but it went unreported. That poor dog.
Gress is accused of two counts of criminal sodomy and two counts of lewd and lascivious behavior. Gress was released on bail from jail Wednesday evening. If the allegations are true and you live in Salina, maybe bring your dogs inside.
Pop-culture website Topless Robot has a list of "10 notable real-life superheroes (aside from Phoenix Jones)," and a former Kansas Citian is on the list.
A superhero named Nyx is still doing good works, helping the homeless and underprivileged. I heard about Nyx in 2009. At the time, she was preparing a move to New York. Sounds like she's made it to the area and is still doing good works.
Funkhouser posted an ad on Craigslist offering his 1996 Toyota Corolla for $2,250. The ad, posted October 21, reads: "This little red Corolla is the vehicle former Mayor Funkhouser drove during his 2007 campaign and all throughout his time in office. Like it's owner, it's rough around the edges, but extremely dependable. We are in town this weekend and will have limited time to show it."
Last week, we heard about the Wichita man who was stabbed in the scrotum with a hypodermic needle. I cringe every time I think about it, especially knowing that the needle broke off in the guy's sack and it had to be surgically removed.
The story was bizarre enough to make Saturday Night Live's Weekend Update. Anchor Seth Meyers gave tips for fellas to avoid a similar scrotal injury. Watch it in the video above (it's around the 50-second mark).
The Wichita Eagle reports that police say a man entered the theater at 6:50 a.m., brandished a handgun and knife, and demanded videos and money from a clerk.
The Circle Cinema appears to be quite popular among Wichita's adult-theater enthusiasts. One website describes it this way: "Movies are usually first rate. Usually they are all straight movies. Excellent hook-up place. Blow jobs and more!"
Police said the thief didn't fire the gun, and there were no injuries. Anybody with information about the XXX bandit is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 316-267-2111.

Apple founder Steve Jobs died last night. Of course, it didn't take long for the Westboro Baptist Church to say they'd picket Jobs' funeral. And thanks to Jobs, they could do so quickly ... via their iPhones.
Our friends at Escapist Skateboarding need your votes. Escapist is one of three skate shops competing in the DC Shop League, a spinoff of the Street League Championships, which KC's own Sean Malto won.
Here's how the contest is billed: "Three shop teams. One hour to skate. One hour to film. $5,000 winner takes all."
Escapist's entry is above, filmed by Aaron Chilen and Ryan Lovell, who also edited the footage. Escapist's skateboarders include Ryan Pearce, Tyshaun Johnson, Josh White, Josh Crane, Max Chilen, Garrett Olinger, Aaron Smith and Rod Harper.
So click here, "like" Escapist and support your local shop team. Voting ends October 28.

October is "Zombie Preparedness Month" in Kansas. For real. The Sunflower State's emergency-management officials are encouraging folks to prepare for a zombie apocalypse. Really, it's on the state's website.
"You may laugh now, but you may even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency at the same time," the site says.
The Gumball 3000 makes a pit stop in Kansas City tonight (Monday)
Fifty years ago this week, Continental Flight 11 fell out of the sky over Unionville
Guy Fieri, Henry Ford and Johnny Trigg to be inducted into the National Barbecue Hall of Fame
Johnson County boobaphobe wants Overland Park to disappear arboretum's Yu Chang sculpture
The Pitch Questionnaire with Historic Kansas City Foundation executive director Amanda Crawley
Clemson, rumored to be interested in the Big 12, opens up its relationship with the ACC
KC's bakeries turn up the flour power
New teen curfew goes into effect this weekend