Subject: Mark Funkhouser

• Funk: Mortgage Debt No Sweat

  August 22, 2007

• Friends of Fido Protest Parks Decision

  August 29, 2007

• Fun with Funkhouser

  December 3, 2007

• GED Cops

  January 18, 2008

• Five Unknowns File Petition to Recall Funkhouser

  January 29, 2008

• Funkhouser Recall Petition Is Flawed

  January 30, 2008

• DAILY BRIEFS XLII: Prehistoric Sewers, Funkhouser's Campaign Finance Reports, Disgusting Culinary News

  February 4, 2008

• Daily Briefs: Sun-baked garbage and Funkhouser's declining popularity (NO SQUITIRO)

  June 12, 2008

• Stackhaus' Transit-Hating Past

  June 26, 2008

• Dueling Wives: Funkhouser's vs. Zieman's

  August 22, 2008

• Daily Briefs: What has two thumbs and an above-ground pool?

  August 25, 2008

• Dump the Funk crew wants a recount

  This afternoon, the group pushing the recall of oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser will ask the city clerk to recount the more than 21,000 signatures -- and after an exhausted sigh, she'll probably agree --  and then they'll pray that 129 more valid signatures.  Spokesman Harris Wilder says: "The City Clerk and her office have been wonderful throughout this recall campaign and we appreciate their hard work. Today we are asking both for a recount and for written guidance as to

  June 1, 2009

• Dump the Funk crew makes recount request official

  For those interested in the minutiae of recalling oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser, I've posted the letter from Harris Wilder asking City Clerk Vickie Thompson to recount the more than 21,000 signatures -- they came up just 129 signatures short. After the jump, the letter.

  June 1, 2009

• Daily Briefs: Del Tha Funky Squitiro Sapien

  By CHRIS PACKHAM O Holy Econocalypse: There should be a horror movie called Black Friday, because obviously they chose to give the first shopping day after Thanksgiving an extremely creepy-sounding name. Which, no criticism, you guys, my new puppy's name is Li'l Princess Blood Feast, after the shocksploitation classic Blood Feast, by Herschel Gordon Lewis, and she's ADORABLE. I've heard some people insisting on the unbelievable explanation that, for many retailers, "Black Friday" is the first d

  November 25, 2008

• Mayor Funkhouser lights a big tree as his charity fund gets smaller

  As darkness descended on Black Friday and a few thousand obliging traditionalists gathered outside Crown Center to wait for the mayor to light his 100-foot Oregon fir tree, a cold breeze carried choral music and other sounds of the season. A tired-looking man in a jacket pocked with the Royals' logo turned from his perch along a rail near the parking garage and spit hard -- thphnh! -- into the patch of lawn behind him, just missing a pedestrian. "Oh," he said, avoiding eye contact. "Excuse me.

  December 1, 2008

• Daily Briefs: Kiss my shuttlecock!

  In a Kansas City Star editorial yesterday, Yael T. Abouhalkah posited the existence of a "good" Mayor Mark Funkhouser and a "bad" Mayor Mark Funkhouser: "The good Funkhouser is the one Kansas Citians thought they were electing in 2007, the one who was going to attack the city's financial ills," writes Abouhalkah. He never explicitly defines the "bad" Funkhouser, but he's the one who spends a lot of time on national television bitching about his wife's ejection from City Hall and suing the City

  December 4, 2008

• Daily Briefs: Funkhouser; Econocalypse; Brownback

  Dumb-bunny civic embarrassment Mayor Mark Funkhouser's proposal to settle Ruth Bates' lawsuit against him was rejected by the City Council, 2-10. Funkhouser wants to settle because he can TOTALLY WIN THIS THING in court. He was asking for $135,000 to pay off the legal tab incurred by wife Gloria Squitiro's fat, stupid mouth, plus another $40,000 for his attorney. BUT! Councilman Ed Ford said that the council wouldn't approve a settlement unless Funkhouser dropped his crybaby lawsuit against the

  December 5, 2008

• Daily Briefs in Brief: No time for blogging

  Since there's nobody I love more than readers of Daily Briefs except for my puppy and my girlfriend IN THAT ORDER, I wanted to express my thanks and gratitude with a traditionally indifferent e-card at absolutely no cost to myself. Obviously, this card would have been my first choice, but unfortunately the American Greetings card company's brain has GONE COMPLETELY INSANE, and they actually charge a subscription fee if you want to send personalized Flash e-cards to your contacts list. So, MERRY

  December 19, 2008

• Funkhouser: Ready for your questions

  In a week, Mayor Mark Funkhouser, the Jay Leno of Kansas City mayors, will tape the next episode of "Straight Talk with the Mayor." It's unconfirmed whether Gloria Squitiro, the Kevin Eubanks of mayor's wives, will be along to add her too-hot-for-the-29th-floor comedy schtick. Crispin Rea invites you to send your questions or comments to crispin_rea@kcmo.org by next Monday. I'm sure he'll appreciate it. -- Justin Kendall

  January 6, 2009

• Mayor Mark Funkhouser responds to failure of the recall effort

  Mayor Mark Funkhouser released this statement Saturday night on the results of the recall effort:Every day since I have been elected has been a challenge. Every issue I have tackled has had opponents. As I said in my State of the City Address, change is hard. My critics, the organizers of this effort, clearly do not like the status quo being challenged. But that is the reason I was elected to begin with. I plan to continue carrying out the agenda I laid out in the State of the City.To those of

  May 30, 2009

• Sharon Sanders Brooks will not be bothered with your silly questions.

  The Kansas City Star is running "breaking news" about Councilwoman Cindy Circo's deposition on its Web site. DeAnn Smith reports what, to some City Hall watchers, will come as old news: Circo thinks Mayor Mark Funkhouser was punishing her for her vote on the volunteer ordinance when he took away her role as chair of the city's Housing Committee. Funkhouser then awarded the chair to Councilwoman Sharon Sanders Brooks, who was the only councilperson absent from the September 25, 2008, meeting in w

  January 22, 2009

• Daily Briefs: Stupid people control everything

  Your job had to go live on a farm where it plays with goats and puppies. So while we're all pretending that the economy is like "the weather," and "just happens," and is therefore completely unaffected by human behavior or fiscal policies such as -- FOR EXAMPLE -- passing massive tax cuts while simultaneously conducting two unbelievably expensive wars and deregulating the financial industry, and also while we're pretending that we're lookin' gooo-oood by sucking in our guts and wearing baggy cl

  February 10, 2009

• Funkhouser recall group lawyers up

  Mark FunkhouserThe dump the Funk crew is threatening to take the recall recount to court if the Kansas City Council doesn't tell the city clerk to do the recount. The recall committee hired attorney Brett Shirk yesterday "to examine and pursue all available legal remedies to force" the election boards in Platte and Clay counties and Kansas City to do a recount. Here's the word from recall spokesman Harris Wilder:"While we remain hopeful that the City Council will take action to order a recount w

  June 5, 2009

• The Mayor and the Media: Funkhouser's turn

  I always figure things are going downhill for a politician when he starts blaming the media for his troubles. Over the last 22 months, I've heard Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser do that at a town hall meeting, in his weekly newsletter and on his front porch. As editor of the mainstream media outlet that may have been the toughest on him and his wife, Gloria Squitiro, I'd argue that all politicians make their own media problems. The mayor, however, most certainly has a different opinion -- one

  March 13, 2009

• Daily Briefs 3: Tokyo Drift

  Nothing gold can stay, Ponyboy: As a novel alternative to just cold vetoin' the new city budget, Mayor Mark Funkhouser will let it become law without his signature, a level of political subtlety we haven't experienced, ever, from the Funkhouser administration. So I'm attributing that whole thing to professional political consultant Mark Seittman, as opposed to Funkhouser's previous advisor, Gloria Squitiro, whom we provincial Kansas City hayseeds were unprepared to accept as half of an active

  April 2, 2009

• Funkhouser recall papers filed

  Anne McGregorFormalizing their frustration with Mayor Mark Funkhouser, a group of citizens has filed paperwork to begin the recall process. Electronic and print reporters packed the city clerk's office this morning as the affidavit calling for Funk's heave-ho received an official stamp.The petitioners say Funkhouser's continued reliance on his wife, Gloria Squitiro, violates the city's nepotism ordinance. Anne McGregor, one of the organizers, said Funkhouser had ceased to be effective. McGregor

  April 6, 2009

• Cruising in the Corolla

  June 7, 2007

• Mayors, civic leaders and their task forces all claim to want to help the Kansas City School District. So far, no results.

  March 19, 2009

• The mayor lights a big tree as his charity fund gets smaller

  December 4, 2008

• Funkhouser’s latest weapon against Cauthen: memos

  August 7, 2008

• Meet the Mayor

  January 24, 2008

• The Two Funkitiros

  After Gloria Squitiro's recent tell-all to the Star, it's clear that the first couple needs a reality check.

  December 13, 2007

• A City That Works?

  A painful summer has passed, but tough problems remain.

  November 15, 2007

• WWJD?

  September 13, 2007

• Do You Know Me?

  August 30, 2007

• Breathe, People

  July 5, 2007

• The Scream supports recalling Mayor Funkhouser

  The petition drive to recall oversized novelty mayor Mark Funkhouser is down to the wire with only three days left to get the 17,000 signatures needed to put the issue before voters. Kansas City Star columnist Steve Kraske's Up To Date talk show -- 11 a.m. today on KCUR 89.3 -- will be devoted to the recall effort with a showdown between Harris Wilder, one of the petition's organizers and a local attorney, and George Blackwood, a Funkhouser ally and former city councilman. I'd heard that there

  May 5, 2009

• Funkhouser calls cutting cops 'stupid'

  From the looks of Fox 4's coverage, oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser's meeting last night with Kansas City police was sparsely attended. Mark FunkhouserThis comes after $15 million in proposed cuts to the police budget, which Chief Jim Corwin claims will lead to fewer police on the streets. KSHB Channel 41 has the money quote from Funkhouser. "I think it's a stupid idea to reduce officers," Mayor Funkhouser said. He compared council members voting to cut the police budget to members of Co

  May 7, 2009

• Daily Briefs: And so it came to pass that a twelve-inch man jumped out and started playing the piano

  I miss the old, stupider Funkhouser: So, the petition effort to recall Kansas City Big & Tall Mayor Mark Funkhouser came up short by something like 5,000 signatures. That's pretty good! On the other hand, now that there's a serious recall effort underway, Funkhouser's political profile, largely defined by doing or saying dumb things in public, has been a lot lower lately. DISAPPOINTINGLY LOW. Some time in the next two weeks, I seriously need to see the Mayor and his strap-on spouse module

  May 8, 2009

• Bigger news: Kavya Shivashankar winning spelling bee or Funkhouser's shitty city?

  You know what's bigger news than oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser's second -- and possibly final -- "State of the City" speech? A spelling bee. Thankfully, the huge above-the-fold photo in this morning's Kansas City Star wasn't Funkhouser smooching on wife Gloria Squitiro. The Star is still trying to sell newspapers, right? (And is "Mr. Potato Head" Chuck Eddy trying to block his view?) Kansas City StarIt was Olathe's best speller, Kavya Shivashankar, getting the big gold cup. The Scripps

  May 29, 2009

• Funk, 'Hot legs' Johnson, Hermann and SSB battle over stimulus money and rules of order

  Things blew up at the Kansas City City Council meeting yesterday afternoon, when talk  turned to resolution 090436. I swear Deb Hermann was ready to eat Sharon Sanders Brooks' face at one point.At issue was economic stimulus money for Destiny Towers, a Northland senior housing project of the Harvest Church. Hermann wanted to amend the resolution and give the funding to Northland Neighbors Inc., a couple of day cares and other organizations. Of course, the issue was laced with racial tension

  June 5, 2009

• Star finds one woman who didn't really sign recall petition

  Remember those 20,000-plus signatures (no one can agree exactly how many there were) to recall oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser? Uh, yeah, turns out some of the signatures on the petition were (gasp!) bogus. The Kansas City Star spoke with one woman, Vera Smith, who said that even though her name is on the petition, she didn't sign it and doesn't want Funkhouser recalled. The other examples are husbands and wives signing for each other, but most of them couldn't remember. Wonder if the St

  June 12, 2009

• Dump the Funk crew calls off recount attempt

  The group trying to recall oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser announced today that they won't seek a lawsuit to force a recount of the recall petition signatures. Here's a snip from spokesman Harris Wilder:The simple fact is that the committee of the petitioners could not raise the $10,000 necessary to pay for a lawsuit. While the petition drive was truly a "revolt of the regular folks," based on sincere outrage over the Mayor's consistent misconduct, it was accomplished with very little mo

  June 15, 2009

• Funk wants money for cops, not a hotel study ... but the money comes from a different pot

  Oversized novelty Mayor Mark Funkhouser is back on the job, and he's firing off angry memos. This one went to City Manager Wayne Cauthen 'cause Funkhouser wants his police funding -- not a half-million dollar convention hotel study."The money for that project came easily, yet our residents still don't know if their city government is going to maintain our police force at the current force level," Funkhouser wrote. Yeah! You tell 'em, mayor. Except one thing: The money for the hotel study can't p

  June 25, 2009

• Facing recall, Funk kept lid on campaign chest

  Facing a potential recall, Kansas City Mayor Mark Funkhouser raised no money in April, May and June, according to campaign-finance records made public today. It's been reported that philanthropist Julia Irene Kauffman made a $10,000 donation to Funkhouser for Kansas City on July 1. But aside from the receipt of that generous contribution, Funkhouser was unwilling or unable to muster financial support at a time when a ragtag group of antagonists nearly forced a recall vote. The most recent report

  July 15, 2009

• Things can't possibly get worse for Mayor Funkhouser, can they? Oh ...

  Less than 48 hours after his wife's crippling, profanity-laced, insult-filled 35-page diary of a mad woman was made public, Vulcan Mayor Mark Funkhouser received even more bad news: 15 school districts and superintendents say they don't want any part of the mayor's education summit. At least he still has the old "Chicken-Shit with an Attitude."

  July 15, 2009

• Funkhouser says Gloria Squitiro's book/manuscript/diary was on a private computer

  Vulcan Mayor Mark Funkhouser skipped the NAACP National Convention this week to stay home with his sick wife, "Chicken-Shit with an Attitude" Gloria Squitiro. But Funkhouser did make his regularly scheduled "Fridays with Funk" appearance on the radio show of Chris Stigall on KCMO 710 and commented on the release of Squitiro's book/manuscript/diary.But he didn't say much. "It was not on a public computer," Funkhouser told Stigall. "A portion of it had been saved to my personal computer from her p

  July 17, 2009

• Funk pins fantasy hopes on Jessica Simpson heartbreaker

  KCChiefs.comFunkhouser's backup WR has yet to meet the team photographer​Drafting against other big-city mayors, Mayor Mark Funkhouser followed his heart instead of his head and put three Chiefs on his fantasy football team.Funkhouser selected Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassel to back up the Cowboys' Tony Romo. He supplemented his bench with wide receiver Amani Toomer, presumably as first lady Gloria Squitiro shouted "Reach!" in the background.A former small-college basketball player, Funkhouser

  August 21, 2009

• Bus crash starring the Cleveland Indians -- and another bus crash with not-so-famous people

  ​KSHB Channel 41 is becoming the official source for bus crashes and dirt on Oversized novely Vulcan Mayor Mark Funkhouser. A bus carrying the nine Cleveland Indians players was rear ended on the way to Kaufman Stadium around 11:30 a.m. No one was seriously injured (although the driver of the car was taken to a local hospital with minor injuries). That was followed by a car versus city bus crash near 39th and Warwick around noon. Lots of people went to the hospital, but none of the injuries we

  August 26, 2009

• Of penises and divorces: Joe Miller's Funk and Gloria story is finally up on Salon

  Gloria Squitiro and Mayor Mark Funkhouser​Joe Miller's long-awaited story about working in the Funkhouser administration is finally up on Salon. Reading the story, it's clear Miller, a former Funkhouser spokesman and Pitch reporter, doesn't care for first lady Gloria Squitiro. If you've followed the story, you probably know it all. But here's a couple things I didn't know.1. Miller spent an awkward Christmas day with the Funks. The first thing I noticed when I arrived was an array of toy penis

  September 1, 2009