Subject: Santa Claus

• What's New, Pussycat?

  October 16, 2006

• Hey Greenies! Move to another continent!

  June 10, 2008

• Breakfast buffet: Wednesday 11/12

  November 12, 2008

• The 10 Greatest Sad Christmas Songs, Nos. 5 and 4: James Brown, Simon & Garfunkel

  5. "Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto," James Brown A soulful appeal that might be a little less sad if its command weren't so urgent: Fill every stocking you see, and don't forget any kid. A sharp electric guitar chord drives the song like a spur to the side of the reindeer. 4. "7 O'Clock News/Silent Night," Simon & Garfunkel Lenny Bruce dying of an overdose, Martin Luther King marching for fair housing, Richard Speck indicted for killing nine student nurses, and Richard Nixon s

  December 22, 2008

• Daily Briefs: Funkhouser; Econocalypse; Brownback

  Dumb-bunny civic embarrassment Mayor Mark Funkhouser's proposal to settle Ruth Bates' lawsuit against him was rejected by the City Council, 2-10. Funkhouser wants to settle because he can TOTALLY WIN THIS THING in court. He was asking for $135,000 to pay off the legal tab incurred by wife Gloria Squitiro's fat, stupid mouth, plus another $40,000 for his attorney. BUT! Councilman Ed Ford said that the council wouldn't approve a settlement unless Funkhouser dropped his crybaby lawsuit against the

  December 5, 2008

• Santa to confound dogs, delight humans

  Dogs have difficulty distinguishing the color red from green, which makes Christmas a little confusing. Nonetheless, Santa Claus will visit the Penn Valley Dog Park on Sunday, December 14. Dog owners who squeal with delight when their animals do toddler-ish things should arrive at the park between 10:30 and noon, when Santa (or Green Giant Shih Tzu-Looking Guy, as he's known to canines) will be available for pictures. Deb Hipp, meanwhile, continues to push for an expansion of places where dogs c

  December 5, 2008

• Kansas City's Dot Matrix Winter Wonderland

  A pixilated leviathan of holiday cheer, this block-headed Santa Claus lords over Gillham Park, at 41st and Gillham, watching over the children and parents who gather for chilly fun during the day and get the holy hell away at night.

  December 8, 2008

• Stealing Time: Fred Phelps thinks Santa Claus molests children

  Fred Phelps is spreading joy to all the boys and girls of Washington state with a special holiday message: "Santa Claus will take you to hell." Phelps, pastor of Topeka's least popular church, wants his Christmas cheer included in Washington's state capitol next to a nativity scene and an atheist sign. But Phelps' message wouldn't be complete unless he slandered Santa Claus as a child molester and blames the deaths of American soldiers on the jolly old elf. Westboro's members aren't the only loc

  December 11, 2008

• Paws meet Claus at Penn Valley Dog Park, Sunday, December 14

  Photo courtesy Julie Weeks. Click here for a slideshow. Because dogs are children, too, Santa Claus offered his lap to them on Sunday at Penn Valley's off-leash dog park. A member of the Dogpark Improvement Group, which sponsored the event, photographed each pooch that posed with Kris Kringle and e-mailed the shots to owners later in the day at no cost. The photo above is one such freebie. That's my miniature pinscher, Scooby, getting palmed by Old St. Nick, who offered me a bit of stinging

  December 15, 2008

• The 10 Greatest Sad Christmas Songs, No. 2 : Merle Haggard

  2. "If We Make It Through December," Merle Haggard In another year, this one might not have been so close to Number One. But Haggard's recession lament sounds more enduring all the time: Got laid off down at the factory, and their timing's not the greatest in the world. Heaven knows I've been workin' hard -- wanted Christmas to be right for daddy's girl. Previous Top 10: 10. "Christmas Is for Mugs," Graham Parker 9. "Daddy's Drinkin' Up our Christmas," Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Air

  December 24, 2008

• The 10 Greatest Sad Christmas Songs, No. 3 : Johnny & John, "Christmas in Vietnam"

  3. "Christmas in Vietnam," Johnny & John Two soldiers trapped in a foxhole know they won't be home this year, but that doesn't stop them from remembering happier times or just wanting to hear "Jingle Bells." It won't be merry this Christmastime, they know. They'll only be friends and loved ones all around me dyin'. Previous Top 10: 10. "Christmas Is for Mugs," Graham Parker 9. "Daddy's Drinkin' Up our Christmas," Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen 8. "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)," John

  December 23, 2008

• The 10 Greatest Sad Christmas Songs, No. 1: Jimi Hendrix

  1. "Silent Night/Little Drummer Boy," Jimi Hendrix A snare drum riff gets this going -- it feels familiar yet ominous, then Hendrix's guitar slides into an acidic "Little Drummer Boy" in which the words we know go with the tune -- come, they told me -- might as well be demands to answer draft notices. Soon, Hendrix segues into a stumbling, tormented, screaming "Silent Night" in which there's only one way to achieve heavenly peace -- in a body bag. Previous Top 10: 10. "Christmas Is for Mugs

  December 25, 2008

• Free For the Downloadin': INnatesounds Crew's 2009 Sampler

  The Kansas City hip-hop scene continues to show up Santa Claus in terms of generosity. The latest offering: a big hunk of burnin' (digital) love from Miles Bonny and his INnatesounds Crew. Following in the footsteps of last year's posse compilation Alpha, the INnatesounds Crew 2009 Sampler brings a similarly spaced-out, Magic Fingers rubdown of jazzy hip-hop and indie R&B, but with some new names on the roster, including Kutty Slitz (star of the latest Miles Bonny Show), John Brewer of Organic

  June 3, 2009

• The Daily Briefs Holiday Special

  Blah blah capital markets, blah blah business writing: So, apparently the U.S. recession began last December? Wow, that was such a long time ago, how the years fly by. Why, I can remember back before there was any such thing as habeus corpus, but you kids have it so great these days with your Magna Carta and your Beatles and all your butt-sex, OW, MY HIP! Oh, sweet, sweet Ensure adult formula, now available in pudding form, flood these old bones with lactose-free, gluten-free calories and prote

  December 24, 2008

• Another 'Hallmark moment'

  June 15, 2000

• Alan Jackson

  December 19, 2002

• Barry Manilow

  December 19, 2002

• El Vez

  December 19, 2002

• Danger Ahead!

  December 4, 2003

• Johnny Cash / Gene Autry / Hank Thompson and the Brazos Valley Boys

  December 18, 2003

• Empire Strikes Back

  January 27, 2005

• In Memoriam: Restaurants in Heaven

  Flickr: Dr. Mo You don't need to tell me that restaurants come and go. I know all too well. Before I gave up my illustrious career as a server, I worked in six or seven Kansas City restaurants (one was such a torture chamber that I've completely erased the experience from my memory bank) that are now all closed and long-forgotten. Three of them are still operating as different restaurants, one is a check-cashing business, two are retail stores and one was torn down. Some restaurants d

  March 5, 2009

• Soul Survivor

  September 22, 2005

• Our top DVD picks for the week of October 4.

  October 6, 2005

• Our top DVD picks for the week of December 12:

  December 7, 2006

• The Boys Are Back

  January 15, 2009

• Here’s why Mexicans celebrate Christmas all year

  December 25, 2008

• A pixilated Santa, an inflated TIF handout and related writers

  December 18, 2008

• Christmas Pooches

  December 11, 2008

• Hellboy 2: The Golden Army

  July 10, 2008

• Horse Trot

  November 29, 2007

• With Bells On

  The Sanders Family lands in the right hands.

  December 21, 2000

• He's Guano Love You

  October 25, 2007

• Fountains of Coyne

  The Flaming Lips' flamboyant frontman dishes on what it's like being in the happiest band going.

  September 6, 2007

• Dillinger Four

  Sunday, August 25, at El Torreon.

  August 22, 2002

• Our top DVD picks for the week of December 12:

  December 14, 2006

• Shrink Wrap

  October 26, 2006

• How Would Jesus Haunt?

  October 12, 2006

• The Panza Patrol

  June 29, 2006

• Fun House Food

  May 18, 2006

• Merry #@!\&* Christmas

  December 22, 2005

• Merry Xmas From the Dead Malls

  A lonely Santa, decorations held up by an abandoned shoe, and an homage to Oprah await you at KC's forgotten shopping centers.

  December 15, 2005

• Merry Christmas, Beeyotch!

  Forget caroling. Here are a few hip-hop jammy-jams to warm your yule log.

  December 23, 2004

• The Santa Clause

  We don’t Forsee a miracle on 119th Street

  December 23, 2004

• Snapshot Santa

  A photo session benefits Lawrence's animal shelter.

  December 4, 2003

• Old Wives Tales

  Late Night two-times The Stepford Wives.

  April 4, 2002

• Jingle Bell Rock

  Giddy up, jingle horse: Here's a few Christmas-themed gems, plus plenty of lumps of coal.

  December 20, 2001

• Kansas City Strip

  All we want for Christmas is snow-free streets.

  December 21, 2000

• He Likes to Watch

  Jason Alexander directs a new twist on the coming-of-age film.

  November 16, 2000

• Around Hear

  Spirit Fest wrap-up, D.C. Bellamy, Kristie Stremel, and Lost Pride

  September 14, 2000