... home, and one day while I was cutting the grass, my wife came out with the phone and said, "Hey, the director of the FBI is on the phone for you." I'm like, "No ...
... The New York Times runs the headline "In First Big Interview, Palin Says, 'I'm Ready,' " totally burying the lede, unless you happen to be talking about their ...
... Y'all, I'm tired of picking that shit up off the lawn, is what I'm saying. ... You are an enigma wrapped in a Keyser Soze shrouded in an M. Night Shyamalan. ...
... You know the injustice I'm talking about - the kind we don't have anymore! Therefore, via logic, we need to eliminate affirmative action. ... I'm not sure. ...
... I'm not 100 percent sure whether they're going for swoony romance novel imagery, or if they're implying that Brad Pitt is feeding all his breast milk to his ...
Kansas City News. I'm never going into Borders' bathroom again. ... 2. Mark Mangino was Kansas' 'White Whale'. 3. I'm never going into Borders' bathroom again. ...
... OK, whatever, not thinking, I said, 'Florida got excited.' And right after, I'm thinking, you know, but I decided I'm not going to dwell on it.". ...