Thursday, September 20, 2007

Patti LaBelle Does Not Like Being Touched In KC

Posted By on Thu, Sep 20, 2007 at 1:19 PM

An alert reader in St. Louis just sent us a link to an article on the national gossip blog that reports of an onstage flare-up at Patti LaBelle's concert in Kansas City last Friday night.

Miss Patti Is Pissed!

Was anyone out there fortunate enough to witness the event?


Touch Patti LaBelle. But only if you know how.

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Weekend Events Roundup, by An Adorable Kitten

Posted By on Thu, Sep 20, 2007 at 12:55 PM


Hello! My name is Scout. I am an American short-hair kitten, and I love to pounce on things! Among the things I enjoy attacking: your feet under the blankets, jingle mice from the pet store, other kittens and houseflies. I like to swat at them with my tiny little paws. My owner is named Chris, and he is always coming and going. Tonight, he is going to see Time Bandits, Terry Gilliam’s 1981 comedy about an English boy who has exciting adventures with a group of diminutive time travelers! It’s screening at 8:45 p.m. at the Central Branch of the Kansas City Public Library, 14 West 10th Street, as part of the Off the Wall Film Series.

While he’s gone, I’ll be injecting 300 milligrams of Clomid, 20 milligrams of Nolva and .25 miligrams of L-Dex directly into my cute little scapular deltoid muscles. I use anti-estrogens for two weeks before I start the cycle to avoid the worst side effects. The clomiphene citrate stimulates testosterone production, because anabolic steroid use suppresses my little testosterone cycle! In three weeks, I’ll be sheathed in lean muscle bulk!


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Viktor, the Viking from KC

Posted By on Thu, Sep 20, 2007 at 6:35 AM


When the Minnesota Vikings come to town this weekend, the team will be bringing more baggage than a Norse boarding party. There’s the four lost Super Bowls, the Whizzinator, the ticket scalping by a former head coach and, of course, the now-infamous pillaging and plundering of their own in October of 2005 aboard a cruise ship on Lake Winnetonka, in what’s now known as the Love Boat Scandal.

It’s no surprise the Vikings have been on a quest to remake the team’s image. So after the 2005 season, the Vikings decided to ditch its mascot, Joseph Juranitch, a dude who ran around in pelts and a horned helmet and called himself Rangar. Juranitch was the league’s only human mascot, and the Vikings technically didn’t own the rights to him.

Looking for new mascot ideas, the Vikings called up Bob Cutler, CEO of Overland Park marketing agency Creative Consumer Concepts. The agency’s famous for designing Sonic’s version of a Happy Meal, the Wacky Pack. His idea -- Viktor the Viking -- became a sideline reality this year. Viktor looks like the blond-haired, handlebar-mustached love child of Hulk Hogan and Dame Edna.

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Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Wayward Cast 14: The ACBs, the Afterparty, Black Lips, Qui, Midlake and others

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 at 3:17 PM

The Wayward Son's (that's me!) Wayward Cast, a wayward extension of his wayward ass and the wayward Pitch music section, is wayward ready. (Ain't it great having a "brand"?)

Download it via the RSS page or as an . Subscribe to the Pitchcast on iTunes and get it automatically each week for free like hay fever.


Our steez will make you sneeze.

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KC Goes National -- Or, At Least, Goes to NPR

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 at 2:30 PM


If you’ve been listening to KCUR lately, you know from the plugs that the NPR show “Day to Day” will be broadcast live this week from Union Station. In preparation, the show’s host, Alex Chadwick, filed a couple of reports on our fair city this afternoon.

The first was this interview with hometown writer Calvin Trillin, who tells Chadwick that KC is “the center of the world, of course.” Trillin has always been a cheerleader for Kansas City, and Chadwick joined in. After visiting, Chadwick said he came to this conclusion: “It’s an American city that actually seems to be functioning.” Hey, nobody tell him about the Victorian-era sewer system or KC’s legendary potholes.

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The Tragically Hip: New Album Reviewed While Listening

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 at 2:19 PM

I recently asked my friend, the humorist and Pitch assistant calendar editor Chris Packham, to go to this site, stream the new Tragically Hip album (bottom of the page, limited availablity) and let me know what he thought of it. I've been a fan of the Hip -- arguably Canada's biggest rock band -- since I was a wee bairn, and yet few people I know have even heard of them. Their new one, World Container, came out earlier this year. Compared to other Hip albums, this one's a bit overproduced and anthemic, trading the band's usual nuanced style for booming pomp -- just listen to all the times Gord Downie goes "yeah" and "that's right" to punctuate his verses (especially on "Fly"). Blame it on producer Bob Rock for getting 'em all worked up. But there are some damn great songs, as always. As a result, it's one of the best workout tapes of the year. But anyway, here's Chris' hilarious take.


Here is my review of World Container, by Tragically Hip. I have never listened to a Tragically Hip album, and am therefore COMPLETELY UNQUALIFIED to voice an opinion. I am totally typing and listening at the same time, so you're getting my raw, unfiltered impressions. There are no swears, here, though.

1) Yer Not The Ocean

Pretty awesome song, with an excellent melody, nice breaks, some surprising background vocals as the song's arc approaches a lush climactic finale. TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!

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Courtney Love Settles the Last of Her Nirvana Money Disputes

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 at 2:14 PM

BY RICK ANDERSON, Seattle Weekly


Photo courtesy of 

By Rick Anderson,




did not fuck you," was how Courtney Love responded when told by

her Seattle attorneys that she owed them up to $340,000 plus

interest. That was the balance due on legal fees attorney

Katherine Hendricks and O.Yale Lewis say Love incurred in a 2002

lawsuit against former members of her late husband's band, Nirvana,

from which she ultimately earned at least $9 million. 


the troubled rocker and widow of Kurt Cobain has now agreed to settle

the attorneys' tab for an undisclosed amount, according to King

County Superior Court records. The settlement, effective Monday,

Sept. 17, apparently ends a three-year claim by Hendricks and Lewis,

who alleged Love breached their legal-services contract. Hendricks

would not discuss details of the settlement or confirm whether Love

had paid her debt on time, as she agreed to do in an Aug. 28

settlement report. A trial had been set to begin on Wednesday.


Court records indicate Love paid the Hendricks & Lewis firm

$1.15 million to represent her in the battle with Nirvana's two

surviving members, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic. But the attorneys

claimed she still owed $341,000, plus as much as $200,000 in interest

accrued over five years.

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Big Muddy Adventure

Posted By on Tue, Sep 18, 2007 at 12:43 PM

on the Missouri raft peddler." />

A thousand-mile journey aboard a raft made out of recycled stuff might have ended in prematurely in Mississippi on Saturday.

In late July, Kansas City natives Jamie Burkart and Libby Hendon shipped off from Kaw Point on a homemade vessel they’d built out of discarded items they’d found around the metro. Their goal: sail all the way to the Gulf of Mexico via the Missouri and Mississippi Rivers. It seemed an unlikely feat for a boat powered by a bike-propelled paddlewheel.

Burkart, Hendon and a handful of other students from the University of California-Santa Cruz made it more than 1,000 miles. The voyage lasted seven weeks, but the adventure came to an abrupt end this past weekend.

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