By NADIA PFLAUM
Here, in no real order, are the ten songs of this year that make me want to cut off my face:
Gym Class Heroes, “Cupid’s Chokehold.” Their “sample” of Supertramp was actually just wholesale theft of a good chorus, plus rewritten lyrics so repugnant that I bet they actually penned them themselves.
J. Holiday, “Bed.” It’s not because of the chorus that sounds like he’s crying. It’s these lines, spoken to a girl: My angel, this is wonderful/Thanks for lettin’ me bless ya/ Come down, fly, right, drift back into heaven. The only reason a dude should ever talk like that in bed is if he digs being slapped.
Fergie, “Big Girls.” At least in this one she’s not just stealing the best part of a JJ Fad song. Here she sings, I need to be with myself and center, clarity, peace, serenity, which are sentiments she probably ripped off a poster of a waterfall hanging in a dentist’s waiting room.
Akon, “Sorry, Blame it on Me.” This song is supposed to be an apology for Akon’s famous dry-humping-of-an-underage-girl-onstage incident. But the song lyrics basically say that he’s not sorry and that it was the club’s fault for letting the girl in. Since when is pop music for weasely non-apologies? That’s what politics are for.
6. Timbaland and Nelly Furtado, , “Give it to Me.” Best misheard lyrics ever: “I’m Miss International, got bank up to my taco.” Unfortunately, according to the lyrics on hiphopdx.com, she’s really singing, Amnesty International got Bankok to Mantauk on lock. What? Anyway, the real reason this song is on this list is because the radio WORE IT OUT.
The Plain White T’s, , “Hey There Delilah.” The earnest-white-boy-voice is so played out. May the next bar that plays this song burn down.
Soulja Boy,, “Soulja Girl.” Listen, the original “Crank Dat” song and the accompanying dance were really fun for five minutes, but this followup single is crap – and is that the tune to “Good King Wenceslas”?!
Baby Bash feat. T-Pain,, “Cyclone.” Somewhere, there is a stripper who’s fallen off the stage while attempting to “move her body like a cyclone.” They should know better than to play this song in Kansas.
Lil Boosie with Foxx and Webbie,, “Wipe Me Down.” Just ew.
Britney Spears, “Gimme More.” Gimme less. Much less.
GOT A LIST, HOMIE?
Send your list of favorites, least favorites, etc. of 2007 to Jason.Harper@pitch.com, Re: Peep My List. We'll be publishing lists from just about anyone -- at editor's discretion -- through the first week of January. Please include a photo of either yourself or something that illustrates your list in some way. Best of 2007 albums lists should contain at least 10 items to be considered.
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I'd like to second a nod to Nickleback, but for the song "Rockstar." At least I'm pretty sure that's what it's called. There's a line where Nickleback dude sings something about getting all his dinners at restaurants for free, and then a background voice grumbles, "I'll have the quesadilla."
Yeah, 'cause that's what rich people eat. Quesadillas.
I'd like to nominate that Nickelback song about domestic violence where the lyrics end up being at least as misogynistic as the actual act of violence being decried...
It's the songwriting equivelent of saying, " Domestic violence is wrong because some of my best friends are women who don't listen."
but there is a chance that this song did not come out in 2007...but i don't care b/c this should be talked about.
I can honestly say that I've never ever heard any of these songs except for delilah.
(reason #271 why popfreeradio.com is teh s3kz!!!1one)
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