I know you guys have been jonesing for a little S. Witt. After all, it's been over a year since Witt donned his women's blouse and protested outside The Pitch office. Well, it seems the man we call the Artisan has resurfaced, this time with an EP that some folks are saying is actually an improvement over the unlistenable dreck that this mediocre boob has committed to record in the past.
A few weeks ago, I caught up with my compatriot John Bersuch, who plays in Bacon Shoe, Olympic Size, Tree, the Sex Police and a dozen or so other bands. He'd recently received a shipment from the dubious Mr. Witt.
Says Bersuch: "I saw a bulletin on MySpace from him, and it said if you send me your email address, address and phone number I'll send you a copy of my new album, free of charge."
"I'd already heard it from someone else, and it's good. I like the new album."
"So he sent me a message back and was like, 'Do you want me to send you some other stuff, too?' and I was like sure, that's fine, and so he sent me a bunch of stuff."
Find out what Sterling sent John after the jump. It's pretty hilarious.
What did he send you?
"Five copies of his new album, like, five copies of the nice-looking one, Sea Things. He sent me four copies of the album before that, and, like, three copies of the demo before that album, and he sent me the T-shirt of the worst review ever, and he sent me a magazine that he's on the cover of called Red Rocket -- which is a really strange name for a local magazine -- and he sent me some stickers, and there was a letter inside that said if I wanted to take a picture of me holding some of the stuff, that he'd put it on his MySpace page."
Voila.
But John wanted to be clear:
"The new 5-song EP [Sketches of Shadows] is actually good. I've listened to it several times. The chords are interesting, the vocals are good -- there's real emotion in them."
Why do you think he sent you all that stuff?
"Maybe he knew that I used to do Dandercroft [Bersuch's local music zine from a few years back] and thought I'd write about it."
What will you do with all of it?
I'm gonna give it to friends of mine who want it. I'm in this band called Tree and the singer, Ben Parks, is totally obsessed with Sterling Witt. ... The violin player, Laurel, has a poster of him on her bathroom wall."
Well, there you have it: slightly eccentric, highly annoying singer-songwriter and footy painter finds weirdo cachet among midtown musicians, due, mainly, to his rampant promoting of himself to a milieu of which he is not a part.
Anyway, John sent me his favorite song from the EP. Seeing as how in the past the Artisan has jumped on every chance to get his little crustacean face and thoroughly mediocre singer-songwritering out to people via all available forums -- including free mail order -- I'm sure he won't mind if we share his new single "Desensitized" with you.
Take it away, Artisan!
MP3: Sterling Witt, "Desensitized"
"I i like the guitar chords and the way the chorus jumps out at you in a beautiful noisy mess," John wrote me. "I also like the lo-fi recording job on it. I like the lyrics too and the melody lines. But he still sounds like a Beck impersonator. And i like how two people clap at the end, and it sounds like his mom is sitting there and goes 'Yeah!' He was playing it for his mom and dad. I'm just guessing."
John's probably right; who else would sit through that? With apologies to my friend, whose opinions I thoroughly respect, I don't see this as much of an improvement over Witt's previous efforts. The chords and melody are typically tin-eared, and his singing voice is as droning and wretched as ever. The Artisan fails again. Except that he did succeed in sucking another good hour out of my life this year that I will never get back.
Then again, it was sort of fun. Play on, Artisan, play on.
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Jason is the epitome of a douchebag. Mean, foolish, and inappropriate. An A-hole has to work at it, but it comes naturally to a douchebag.
I saw Sterling perform recently for the first time and he was very entertaining. He was glad to talk with us after the show, was very friendly, and displayed a lot of class.
Besides taking potshots at people, perhaps Jason should work to develop a talent that he may have, if one does indeed exist.
Hi Jason,
Sterling has a new album, "Shadows & Secrets" We'd love to hear what you have to say about it. assuming you hate it ofcourse...
Have you heard it?
You might like it ;)
Too bad for you- Sterling has more class and talent than you could ever dream of having. Have you not seen the group of fans that follow him? What makes you think that your opinion even matters? How big (and smart) of him to take your ridicule and turn it into promotion for himself. His mother has passed on (shame on you for using it in the way you do-- mean spirited person that you are) but I can tell you that she and all that know this guy love him dearly and enjoy seeing him rise above the likes of you. He has class! He IS class! He will make it and when he does you can say that you used to TRY to kick him when you THOUGHT he was down. --- Hey, why don't you go kick a dog or steal candy from the orphans? That would be your style. Grow up and move on-
People with unconventional singing voices suck!
Signed...
Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, & Tom Waits
People with unconventional singing voices suck!
Signed...
Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, & Tom Waits
Hey Jason, did Sterling pick on you as a kid?
Steal your girlfriend? Run over your dog?
or what?
So what, it's not cool to give you music away?
I think this guy is genius & brilliant at marketing...
I realize that you think that your opinion counts for something. You are intitled to your opinion but there are people out here who understand Sterling and where he is coming from. He does not sing to his mother, she is dead, not that you would even care. She was his biggest fan and it is because of her encouragement throughout his life that he has continued to pursue his dream dispite people like you. If you do not care for his music then don't listen to it. But to tell the rest of his listeners that is sucks is not a very nice or good thing for you to do. People like you obviously never had a dream or the balls to pursue it, so shut up and go away. Sterling YOU ROCK! you will always be in my prayers and you know that I love you. You keep on singing buddy and don't listen to these morons.
It's lame that your refering to his Mom, as if she was alive. She died last year, before the Sketches E.P. even came out. So next time you ridicule Sterling, don't dis on his dead mom.
Since Ajay is still a little emotional from the recent death of his mother and seldom is included in the life of his long absent father - saying that he was singin to them is very insensitive. Fortunately, Ajay has enough courage to outlast all the snide remarks and continue his creative soul aching music. His raw and real feelings bubble out of each piece with no intent to wrap the listener in any way. It is private pain that he will never share.
I think I heard the same opinions as this review, it was my parents talking about the Beatles..
"just pure garbage, not even music..."
Maybe your just getting too "Square" Jason...
Sterling Witt= shameless self promoter.
Although he obviously is not loved by everyone, I must say I have seen more people at his shows around town than many of the more "popular" local bands. (I'll not mention any names as they should be embarrassed.)
So even though his music and methods may seem quirky and odd, he does have a certain well earned following. He is not willing to sit by idly and cry that no one listens to his music, or that the "scene" sucks. He's willing to make his own scene.
....and apparently he gets a kick out of annoying Jason Harper.
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