But! Johnny Cash Remixed, an anthology produced by Snoop Dogg, John Carter Cash and Mathew Knowles, opens with Philip Steir's remix of Johnny Cash's "Get Rhythm," offering an energetic defense of what is actually kind of a silly project. In this unapologetic synth-dance track, Cash's voice floats on a dense shoal of beats, synth and bass, arranged with drive and respect -- if not reverence -- inviting the listener into a two-disc venture that includes a DVD documentary -- didn't watch it! -- and which actually turns out to be kind of a mixed bag. No big M. Night Shyamalan surprise ending, there.
Count de Money approaches "Big River" as an opportunity to offer up a no-frills alternate mix of the original song that emphasizes its slap-bass rockabilly DNA and Johnny Cash's boom-chicka-boom-chicka locomotive rhythm. Oh, Count de Money also keeps the spotlight on Cash's burning bush of a voice, without burying it in a bunch of distortion or Funkytown robot effects or hip-hop backup vocals. All very nice.
Originally, I'd written something really mean about the Sonny J. Remix of "Country Boy." It places Cash's vocals and melody in exactly the dance-floor context I'd dreaded when I ripped the plastic off the CD. But now listening to it for the second time, I don't hate it like I thought I did. Probably because I really do hate the remix of "I Walk the Line." For some unexplainable reason, the spirit of "I Walk The Line," as remixed by QDT Muzic and featuring Snoop Dogg's lazy pothead freestyling, are completely submerged in melody-obscuring chords, synthesized strings and vocoder flappety-crap. It's like they weren't really in the mood to mess around with Johnny Cash music, and wanted to record something completely different. Which is fine! None for me, thanks.
The Midnight Juggernaut remix of "Port of Lonely Hearts" cross-fades Johnny's voice back and forth across the original recording's phrasings, against a haunting synth backdrop through which the song's familiar plucked guitar notes occasionally emerge, like frightened baby bunnies from a snowbank. I have no idea why that image occurred to me. Later, I was kind of staring at my shoe and thinking about naked ladies or something while "Straight A's in Love," the Troublemaker remix, was playing, when it all-of-a-sudden cut loose with some unbelievably awesome Atari 2600-sounding chiptune fills. Look, I can't explain why Atari 2600 Space Invaders sound effects sound so great with Johnny Cash music. It's very mysterious, like the island on Lost. That island is SOOO CRAZY! The song also features some simu-scratching and looping old-school vocal samples.
The Wolf remix of "Rock Island Line" artfully avoids perfection with the inclusion of some horrible distorted rock harmonica, such as that emitted by Bruce Willis on his album The Return of Bruno. Remember The Return of Bruno? HAHA. Fuck you, Rock Harmonica; if I'm not mistaken, you crucified Jesus Christ right before invading Poland and authorizing enhanced interrogation techniques like "harmonica-boarding." However: "Rock Island Line" gets off on Johnny's original fun accelerating tempo, and your dad might even call the resulting track "toe-tapping," but Jesus, that fucking harmonica.
SPEAKING OF WHICH: Avoid at all costs the Kennedy remix of "Sugartime," which includes horrible rock harmonica, "I Love Rock and Roll" power guitar, shit and horror. The track also features horrible non-Johnny vocals by some lame pick-up musician who probably sings in commercials for financial instruments or Sunny-D. Bottom line: I liked track two, "Big River." The end. Here it is:
Johnny Cash, "Big River (Count de Money remix)"
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We see that the continuing effort to homogenize all music, to sandpaper off the rough edges, to create lily feet out of an artist's oversized talent, to make everything, everything � including Mary Poppins � into danceable pap, now extend further back into time (probably by sampling Mr. Peabody�s Way Back Machine), where the money the current �artists� could make would actually be gold-backed and thereby not be subject to the current econocalypse making them instant �millionaires��
Nah, this shit didn�t make my panties wet.
Now Johnny Cash, he made my panties sopping�
Thank you for this lovely review! I now know that I should skip this album next time I'm at the record store & just head straight for Bruno. Just so I can have that CD cover in my collection.
I like your tags. Oh, and the line that came out of nowhere: "through which the song's familiar plucked guitar notes occasionally emerge, like frightened baby bunnies from a snowbank" was my absolute favorite.
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