A new blog launched last month that could, quite honestly, be the new Look At This Fucking Hipster or Stuff White People Like. It is simply and elegantly entitled Awesomely Bad Lyrics, and that is its focus.
The posts follow a basic format: line-by-line (or couplet-by-couplet) analysis and mockery of songs. Awesomely Bad Lyrics looks to be primarily focusing on classic rock, although Live's "The Dolphin's Cry" has been roundly ridiculed as well. The blog's author states that the primary intent is that "these songs are supposed to be not only bad, but also *awesome* -- meaning stuff like Celine Dion or Michael Bolton doesn't count. That's just bad, not awesomely bad."
Case in point: Journey's "Any Way You Want It," which in addition to criticizing Steve Perry's "awkward syntax," makes the following list of possibilities regarding the song's true meaning:
1. The narrator is a hopeless virgin who is being seduced by an older woman -- this definitely explains the clear lack of knowledge of sexual terminology.2. The narrator is a simple robotic police officer who has never known the simple human emotion of love or the true meaning of the phrase "lovin' things."
3. The narrator is Steve Perry, and the lyrics are just awesomely bad.
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They should deconstruct "Same Old Lang Syne" by Fan Dogelberg. Most awesomely worstest lyrics ever.
"Met my old lover in a grocery store
The snow was falling Christmas Eve
Stole behind her in the frozen foods
and I touched her on the sleeve
She didn't recognize the face at first
but then her eyes flew open wide
Tried to hug me and she spilled her purse
and we laughed until we cried
Took her groceries to the checkout stand
The food was totaled up and bagged
stood there lost in our embarrassment
as the conversation dragged"
... and then it gets really HOT. And more crying happens.
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