Thursday, December 10, 2009

Every time you play this, the baby Jesus cries

Posted by Nick Spacek on Thu, Dec 10, 2009 at 12:00 PM

Christian crunk-core act Family Force 5 released a Christmas album back in October. It's called Family Force 5's Christmas Pageant, and has the dubious distinction of being despised by both my wife and my cats. My wife, upon entering our house while it was playing, wrinkled her nose and asked what was playing in the same tone one asks "who forgot to flush?"

This is a woman who has tolerated everything from Japanese straight-edge hardcore to four-disc Elvis box sets without complaint. The cats just tried to shred my ankles every time I got near them.

"Carol of the Bells" is something like a punishment. I wasn't able to make it but halfway through the album before removing it from the stereo and regretting ever having said, "yes, I'd love a copy for review."

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Posted by ixDyeAggBallerzXi on 01/25/2010 at 3:19 AM

You are crazy!!!!! This was the best Christmas album that i've ever heard and the best concert that i've been to. Don't be so serious! They're having fun and their fans are having fun! Lighten up!

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Posted by Anonymous on 01/02/2010 at 7:29 PM

It gets worse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

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Posted by Jason Harper on 12/10/2009 at 12:33 PM

well said abe. christian music is insane. aren't you supposed to actually lose moral ground when you create music that is this insincere?

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Posted by konnor on 12/10/2009 at 12:09 PM

I never understood why Christian bands were so bad. I listen to plenty of music that has no cussing, no "immoral" messages, and doesn't sound like something the Devil would mosh to. However, when a band labels itself Christian-rock, it seems like they are without a doubt always terrible. Maybe they need the label to actually get people to go to their shows and buy their crap?

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Posted by Abe on 12/10/2009 at 11:51 AM
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