Miss Riot Room 2010 was crowned Saturday night at its namesake, The Riot Room. Kat Fiasco swept the competition and judges' hearts, scoring high marks in the competition's categories, which included a question and answer segment, a "show us what you typically sleep in" installment, a talent (obviously) portion, and lastly, a "skank" sideshow that encouraged the contestants to be inspired by their inner skank.
A mere five contestants made up the entire show: Katie, Tessa, Megan, Emily, and Kat Fiasco along with Ginger (the host) and three backup dancers (see: random sluts on stage).
Ginger was good with the mic -- a woman clearly destined for greatness, at least in the entertainment industry.
Two of my favorite lines delivered by the host: "Who needs an education, when you have a body?" and a joke about the grand prize to the winner of the competition including, "a Riot Room college scholarship," which she quickly corrected herself, "ah....Just kidding." The crowd ate it up.
Women. In college. Hilarious.
Contestant #1
Name: Katie
Occupation: Chef
Dreams/Goals: Open a bakery
Talent: Run around stage to a Ke$ha song, then switch that shit up and run around stage to a Lil Jon song, then take some clothes off
Quotes: When asked by a judge, what would you do if your boyfriend broke up with you? "I'd party it up!"
Contestant #2
Name: Tessa
Occupation: Burlesque
Dreams/Goals: To be a sewing machine
Talent: Pouring a 24 oz. PBR on her chest while wearing a wifebeater.
Quotes: When asked by a judge, if you had all the money in the world what would you buy? "Cupcakes."
Contestant #3
Name: Megan
Occupation: Bartender (?)
Dreams/Goals: To have sex
Talent: Pouring liquor from little plastic cups into one big plastic cup. And drinking it.
Quotes: When asked by a judge, what do you think of baby Jesus? "I would wrap baby jesus in swaddling clothes" (then makes a rock-a-by-baby gesture with her arms).
Contestant #4
Name: Emily
Occupation: Kansas City's best (self-appointed) kisser
Dreams/Goals: Get bigger tits
Talent: I can't remember
Quotes: When asked by a judge, would you rather have a fit body or a fit mind? "A fit body. I'd find some dude to buy me tits like that last girl has."
Contestant #5
Name: Kat Fiasco
Occupation: Miss Riot Room 2010
Dreams/Goals: To rid the world of pubes
Talent: Hitting a homemade bong, downing a shot of alcohol, then blowing the smoke out.
Quotes: When asked by a judge, what makes you different than the other girls in this competition? "I'm 5-foot-two."
Riot Room 2010 inspired Haiku:
wrongly applied goals
perverted idiocracy
wins local award
wasted potential
accompanies sleazy praise
garnered by white dudes
destructive reckless
behavior sponsored by the
best bar in Westport
bong smoking talent
plus fishnet stockings and boobs
equals Miss Riot Room
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If You didn't like the whole event why even waist your time covering it. Maybe your just passionate about being a complainer or your boss told you to do this or your envious of these girls ability to have fun . Either way I think most of us out here are used to the fact that the Pitch employs less than to be desired writers who waist there time with bullshit comments. Wow you can write a Haiku.
Oh yeah... forgot to mention...
Nicole, if you're reading this, I'm sure you snapped a bunch more pics from the show outside of what you decided to post here. If you wouldn't mind sending them my way, I'd really appreciate it. ;0]
tessaletaunt@yahoo.com
I knew Kat would win...the most beautiful and the most talented...Congratulations Ms. Fiasco!
Wow, this article is ridiculous. You really go out of your way to insult these girls. Grow the fuck up! It's not supposed to be a serious competition. It's funny, get over it.
LMAO! I just found this while on a Google search for some photos from the show. I suppose if this self-proclaimed journalist knew how to state actual facts rather than go on a jealousy driven ramble, this would be a decent article...
Yes; 'to be a sewing machine'. That is my exact goal in life... seriously? Misquotation of the century award goes to this broad above.
I can't vouch for the other contestants, but I found fun out pretending to be a slut for a couple of hours. Yeah, I poured a can of PBR over a wife beater. I was trying to obtain the title of Miss Riot Room and represent a BAR. But again, the writer had a factual blunder, in that I did not pour the beer on myself as a talent. I did it during the "sleaze" part of the competition... ya know, were we were supposed to act slutty...
Overall, the object of the competition was for us ladies to make fun of the general stereotypes of a typical "slut". I think it's safe to say we did just that, so thank you dear misguided writer, for taking innocent fun and making an ass of yourself by fucking up the facts on an entire event. I'm sure readers wanted to know exactly what happened during the show, but instead they got a biased based blog. Yay!
xoxo
@BT. I didn't see anyone using a beautiful model standing in front of the fallen towers on any covers.
@Really?
How is that any different than 9/11? How many flag distribution companies saw windfalls of cash because America decided they wanted to be overtly patriotic? And don't forget about the "United We Stand" and "These Colors Don't Run" ribbon magnets. Yeah, those made money, too.
Sorry, but INK isn't doing anything that America hasn't done first.
@ Esther. INK is soooooooo classy. They had a cover last week of a hot girl covered in oil. Capitalizing off of a huge disaster like the oil spill is wonderful journalism.
Playfully mocking this "pageant" is one thing, I get that hence I have a sense of humor, you're simply angery as hell, and even your hatefulness in this blog was not clever or witty. Pretty lame.
The fame is fleeting
Ketchup City, here they come.
Just girls *helping out* the bar
I personally found this event to be a campy and entertainingly sarcastic take on the normally boring and staid beauty pageant idea, and Kat Fiasco's above post has shown that she is not only beautiful and graceful but possesses greater writing skill than the author of the article trashing her and her compatriots.
Just as entertaining was the crowd of shuffling and vacuous hipsters desperately seeking identity and validation from their peers. It's got to be comforting knowing that no matter how stupid or prejudiced you are acceptance is just a PBR, tattoo, and dirty t-shirt away.
The only thing more circular than the pseudo female solidarity rhetoric of militant fems are their 42 inch waists. For all of their I-hate-men-and-their-evil-penises-united-we-stand-divided-we-fall ramblings the truth is the only reason one of them hasn�t become president is because they hate each other. Such is the case illustrated in this blog and every time a group of women get the check. Have you seen that? They get the bill and immediately want it more separated than a 1940�s public school system. Getting angry at the lack of poignant social commentary in the responses from contestants of a bar room faux beauty pageant is like admiring Elena Kagen for her firm interpretation of constitutionality but pissed cause she doesn�t show enough cleavage. What do you expect, the girls to get an introspective question about their stance on one night stands then say:� well I�ll tell you what I think about term limits�? I get that your body of work hasn�t landed you at Rollingstone or Spin but that is no need to get your hand rolled tampon of zig zags and cedar mulch in a bunch. Plus covering a contest at a bar surrounded by tattoo joints has to be the lowest rung on the journalism ladder. There are people writing Pulitzer Prize winning pieces about the plight of humanity, this lady�s doing a back page write up of a �5 people hotter than me� show. Does this author get that life defining moment look of horror every heroin addict gets when they open their eyes and see the syringe hanging out of their arm when she see�s her resume? Because that my literary friend is what your leader Oprah calls a �wake up� moment.
@DRA
Were these girls giving head on stage? Was there a wet T-shirt contest that I missed? I must have stepped out for a smoke when the donkey show happened.
Yeah, maybe if this way the "official" best slut of Kansas City contest, then yes, I could see how the article might be justified. Granted, this isn't the Miss America pageant, but it's not exactly try-outs at Temptations, either.
This was something in the middle, skimpy and without nudity, but Reinertson decides to skew that, most notably in her headline. I hardly think these girls knew they'd be ostracized for taking part in this, nor should they have been. It's one thing to passively call a group of girls a bunch of sluts, but it's quite another to do it in print.
The irony is the Reinertson, a self-proclaimed homosexual and femenist wrote this. Think of it this way: How many times would the words "Chauvinist" and "pig" be seen in these comments if a heterosexual male wrote this? See the difference now??
If it's not completely obvious that the poor little lesbian can't abstain from projecting her own self-loathing into these articles, then I don't know what is.
I suppose if "shock journalism" is how The Pitch wants to increase readership and awareness of their crappy little paper, then fine, keep Nicole on and let her continue to make an ass out of herself. Seriously though, this place isn't that big. If she keeps taking a piss out on people just to make herself feel better, it will come back on her in one way or another.
I agree with DRA. I wasn't a fan of her review of the BUZZ show but I think she was just trying to have fun with this event. I don't think it was meant to be hurtful.
this is a self-described pageant for women who pound beers for talent on stage ? remind me again why people are defending their dignity ? isn't this article exactly the kind of shit they signed up for ?
besides, it's funny as shit
It's apparent that The Pitch is steadily becoming our local source for tabloid journalism and Nicole Reinertson is its lead reporter.
Refer to: her bit about Kansas City being comprised of nothing but toothless meth-heads with neck tattoos that last time Weezer came to town.
See also: this article.
Reinertson doesn't see reality, but rather, her own reality. I think we can all agree this isn't journalism from an objective standpoint. Every word is dripping with her own scathing tones and cynicism that's apparently (but not really) disguised in humor. More than a few of her prejudices against the heterosexual female made it into this article, and she doesn't bother to hide it.
I agree with Kat: she's a c*nt.
And it's not just what she said, but the fact that she probably had this article written in her head before she even stepped into the Riot Room. This was a hatchet job and Reinertson wears the proverbial black hood just as proudly as the rainbow triangle on her sleeve.
We get it, Nicole. You're not attractive. You look like a little boy. We've seen your Facebook photos. That's your choice and it's fine. But is that any reason to take out your personal shortcomings on these girls as you stand on top of your local rag platform?
Have we really gotten to the point where your man-hating/women-hating/music-hating attitude is considered a fair interpretation of this city and what happens in it?
Or are you just so starved for attention that you'd rather be hated than respected?
You've pissed off a lot of people (yet again). If I were you, I'd pray not to run into any of these five girls you've trashed on here. You just might be on the receiving end of the golden rule.
I wasn�t going to say anything because I thought the author did a fine job making an ass of herself, but I figured what the hell? I can have my fun too.
1.) Contrary to popular belief (and obviously to what this author would choose to believe) attractive people can in fact be intelligent. The horror! I know it upsets the romantic-comedy hierarchy that has brought comfort to homely bloggers everywhere, but your opinion puts you on the same level as the �white dudes� you grouped together as drooling bigots.
2.) Laugh all you want at the �college scholarship� comment, but she said that because I am actually a student. And that prize money went directly to my books. Again, I�m sorry if I�ve offended you by taking off my glasses and having a little fun to help out my favorite bar and my education, but you can suck on that for me.
3.) Finally, to reiterate what the others have already said: it was scary as hell up there. None of us quite knew what we were getting ourselves into, but we untwisted our panties and marched up there and tried not to make complete asses of ourselves, all the while knowing it was somewhat unavoidable.
4.) I took a bong hit, took a shot, SLAMMED A BEER, then exhaled. Get your facts straight and give me my full-skank cred, damnit!
5.) Finally, I can handle an attempt at a scathing article (especially when I still come off looking less pathetic than the author), but for insulting the other girls up there, Nicole Reinertson: you are a cunt. Put that in your feminist pipe and smoke it.
I was under the impression that The Pitch was an unground guitar newspaper? Am I wrong? And some lesbian has her balls in a wad over this? Come on. We supported a bar and friends, obviously all in fun, would you have wrote this BLOG {because lets all acknowledge this IS a BLOG for The Pitch, your education has lead you to the TOP, my friend} if we would have stood up there and took ourselves seriously? If we would have discussed issues such as politics and gay rights? We listen to these arguments daily, this was simply an attempt to let loose and have fun. And you had to go spoil it for everyone. You are bashing girls that were cool enough to put aside our day jobs and try and have fun with the crowd for a night. This was definitely not a ploy to further our careers, as your BLOG seems to be.
For the record, I am an ophthalmic technician, I scrub into the O.R. & assist doctors with surgeries, I would have to say a much more respectable occupation than bashing people from behind your little laptop.
As for your journalism "career" you misquoted the shit out of this BLOG.
Its really sad that you feel the need to put us down. We got up on stage to help the bar and it was awesome. It took some balls to do which i guess you don't have. YOu don't like it then don't come no one forced you. Ladies it was a pleasure!!!!
all of the ladies were fantastic! some people r just jealous haters....maybe do ur next column on how to grow a mustache, it seems it would be more suited for u
Nicole Reinertson must just have a hairy beaver. No wonder she is mad that Kat won.
NO PUBES!!!
leave it to a pessimistic journalist to hold kc to its bigotist ways. i give it up to the people in this city who actually find diverse ways to entertain others and enjoy life. since apparentlty the journalist came assuming bible belt mannerisms
apply to the riot room. you cant say that you left the pageant with out a good story long live miss riot room kat fiasco and all of her glory.
pubes are grose.
haha the fat lesbian that wrote the article is probably just jealous that wouldn't even have a chance.
Thank you Ben. I posted a comment similar but she decided not to approve it. Go figure.
Hahaha, I was gonna talk shit on the author of this article about calling these chicks slutty and being a hater n' all, but then I looked and it's a female author so nevermind the hating throughout the article is expected. They may not be apsiring journalists but they are fun to look at, would rather have gone to the show then read about it.
Is it funny or not funny that Mac Leathal has fucked 2 or 3 of these girls.
(hostess included)
That Haiku was lame! Sounds like somebody is a little jealous of these ladies. None of them sucked off a dildo like the chick from last year. Other than some revealing clothing the night was pretty tame. These girls were their to help the bar they love and win some cool prizes in the process. You can continue to hide behind you laptop sucking down calorie laden McFrappes wishing you had the guts to get in front of that crowd, but writing an attack ad isn't going to get you there. Congrats to all 5 girls on entertaining a bar full of people. You all did great.
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