Friday, September 24, 2010

The top 5 bands we'd like to see new albums from, and the weird shit we would buy to pay for it

Posted By on Fri, Sep 24, 2010 at 8:02 AM

click to enlarge What kind of obscure shit would you buy to see an Uncle Tupelo reunion?
  • What kind of obscure shit would you buy to see an Uncle Tupelo reunion?
Last week, we posted about how Gang of Four was selling vials of band members' blood and VIP helicopter rides to pay for the recording of its comeback album

It got us thinking: What are some other divorced bands for whom we'd participate in funding another record? And what kinds of limited-edition items would we demand? 

We put together a list of five bands, plus some suggestions for shit they could auction off to fanatics.


5. Uncle Tupelo. The hate that exists between Jeff Tweedy and Jay Farrar could power a lawnmower. Still, it's hard not to hope for a burying of the hatchet, and a follow-up to Anodyne.  

Suggested auction items

*Farrar personally reads you five pages from his unpublished book of beat poetry ($200) or his unpublished Socialist Manifesto ($100). [Note: may not exist.]
*Commemorative buttons for each band member Tweedy has removed from Wilco ($45 each). 

4. The Smiths. How has this not happened yet? Do these guys really have that much integrity? 

Suggested auction items:

*Johnny Marr cooks, eats foie gras at same table as Morrissey ($2,000)
*Morrissey will write you the longest song title in the history of the world ($7,500)

3. Fleetwood Mac. They're all still alive. Why not? (Apart from the fact that they don't need the money.)

Suggested auction items:

*Lindsey Buckingham explains why he insists on playing that weird little brown guitar ($125)
*Christine McVie knits you a sweater ($400), calls you "sweetie" (additional $50)
*Stevie Nicks tarot reading ($799)

3. N.W.A. Eazy-E's dead, but that never stopped Puffy from throwing old Biggie vocals onto a track. 

Suggested auction items:

*Dr. Dre's authentic, blood-stained contract with Death Row ($2,999).
*Ice Cube resigns as executive producer of the hit TBS comedy Are We There Yet? ($13 million)
*MC Ren takes you to a Raiders game  ($575, plus cost of tickets)

1. Guns N' Roses. A long shot, considering how terrible of a person Axl Rose is. But we can dream, can't we? 

Suggested auction items:

*Vintage Slash heroin needle ($75).
*Vintage Izzy Stradlin heroin needle ($25).
*Axl Rose-autographed extra-large football jersey ($299).

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