(Runs index finger up and down over lips): Michael Bolton is playing a show in Kansas City next week!
Big deal, you say. Bolton's a hack. Always has been, you say. God, you are arrogant.
What's that? I'm sorry, I can't hear you over these large headphones I'm wearing, which are playing "Soul Provider" and "Steel Bars" on an endless loop.
I happen to have two (weird) friends who saw Bolton live a few years back and said he killed it. Perhaps you'd like to verify that highly subjective statement? Head out to Yardley Hall at JCCC next Wednesday, October 20 and find out for yourself. And do say hello when you bump into me.
How can we make love if we can't make amends?