is as girly as you'd imagine: nude pasties and eyelashes
application, vamping and preening in front of a mirror, oohing and
aahing over vintage dresses and heels.
But as the 11 buxom beauties got ready to compete for the title at Knuckleheads Saloon
last night, there wasn't a single mean girl moment to be had. When a girl realized she'd forgotten her fake eyelashes and glue -- a huge handicap in all things vixen, I learned -- the room leaped into action, with one contestant calling her sister to see if she could drop some
off. Thankfully, another contestant had an extra set. "Oh my god, you're actually letting me use them?" she squealed. "You're so sweet!"
Contestant #10, Gretchen, won the competition with her lovely rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." But really, all the ladies were winners. In the spirit of the pin-up sisterhood I
experienced backstage, here are the best moments from last night's competition.
Best answer that turned the audience to a vixen's favor:
During the formal wear competition, the ladies were asked: "Which celebrity, living or dead, would you most want to have dinner with?" When contestant #3 Daretha answered "Hitler," the crowd of coursed bristled. But Daretha explained away the boos: "I'm a big World War II buff and I don't know what the fuck he was thinking!"
Most unexpected talent:
After the introductions, it was on to the talent portion. "Is that the boob part?" asked co-host Annie Cherry, while taking a swing from her flask. "We have to have the talent part so we're not objectifying them." Even in an adorable "Good Ship Lollypop" sailor swimsuit and pigtails, it was hard to objectify contestant #1 and 2nd place runner-up, Margaret, as she broke into an Irish Jig. Definitely didn't see that coming. But I guess vixens can appreciate the finer points of Riverdance, too.
Best use of awkward silence cause by a sound engineer's fuckup:
Katie O. stood posed with her arms up, waiting for her music to start so she could tap dance her way into our hearts. A few false starts and then silence. What's a girl to do? Can-can with the co-hosts!
Most domestic talent:
Any vixen worth her pasties is a whiz in the kitchen. Two contestants tapped into their domestic side, with contestant #11 pouring cake batter all over her breasts before adding a healthy helping of green sprinkles. But contestant #3, Daretha, won the judges -- and their
stomachs -- over by making a chocolate pumpkin cheesecake on stage through the magic of an Easy-Bake oven.
Best use of props:
After juggling with some pink balls, third-place runner-up Betsy Booms pulled a toy rabbit -- at least we hope it's a toy -- out from her cooch.
Vixen you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley:
Ruby Sunrise brought sexy back to the dojo, with a routine that went from twirling around a steel whip in the air and around her body in breakaway pants to a cabaret worthy striptease.
Check out backstage footage from last night's competition on Wayward.