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Where We Pee
is a weekly look at the excretory facilities of the music venues and cool-kid hangouts around town.
Blayney's in Westport closed about a year and a half ago, but really it died years before that. Not to stomp on its grave or anything, but in its final years it lacked a certain mojo. This week, the space was resurrected as the Union of Westport. I don't know all the specifics, but I know Megan Hamilton is involved at a high level, which gives the place a certain amount of cred.
On Wednesday, they had what I heard was a "soft opening," which is a phrase I do not understand. I mean, the bar was open. I walked by and the door was open and I walked inside. I would just call that a "This bar is open now." But whatever. I went there to photograph their restrooms.
A Where We Pee: Extreme Soft Opening Edition is new territory for Where We Pee. Unfortunately, it's kind of boring territory. Of course the restrooms are going to be spic-and-span for the Soft Opening.
Check out that blue water, son! I want to go swimming in that shit! And I flushed the hell out of that thing and it just kept coming up sparkling blue! This is the upstairs restroom, a one-holer. Well-lit and clean.
Downstairs is where everybody was hanging out, though. The mens' down there has a toilet and the two pictured urinals. No stall for the toilet and no dividers for the urinals, which is disappointing for individuals with stage fright and for individuals who use cocaine.
That's the sink. I don't know why I took a picture of it. Oh wait, yes I do. I wanted to talk about how every time there is a line for the men's room, some guy will make a joke about peeing in the sink, and how not funny that comment always is. Can't you just not talk, Guy Who Makes the Sink Pee Joke?
Anyway, the Union was actually a pretty cool spot. There's a nice little patio downstairs and out back that comes as a surprise, and they have a pool table with yellow felt, which is pretty sexy. I wanted to crawl on it and take a nap but instead I went home and watched Greenberg. It was pretty good!
And this has been...Where We Pee.
