By this point, you're probably so overwhelmed by all of the show-going possibilities on New Year's Eve that your best plan is to crawl into a fetal position and suck your thumb while watching
Snooki the ball drop in Times Square on your TV. But you must persevere, reader! Wayward is here to help!
We've outlined our favorite NYE choices in our handy-dandy, go-to guide, after the jump.
Do you want to rage the last moments of '10 away? Try Mac Lethal and Coalesce at the Riot Room. Mac's marching-band ode to booze -- the ever-instructive "Pound That Beer" -- won't be just a call to action but an anthem. You've also got hard-core heroes Coalesce, Cherokee Rock Rifle, BluntRap, and DJs Chadillac & HoodNasty to look forward to -- and several secret guests, too.
Do you like to point and laugh at strangers? If you suffer from secondhand embarrassment, steer clear of the Donkey Gong Show at the RecordBar. Some ridiculous people are invited on (and then subsequently booed off) the stage. It's a lot like the '70s TV show The Gong Show, except more fun, because it's with people you know.
Do you need a show that everyone's gonna dig? The Republic Tigers are playing with Saharan Gazelle Boy and Roman Numerals at the Beaumont Club. This is the "oh, duh" choice of the night: The Republic Tigers -- the one local band that every non-scenester is keen on -- will be rocking a lot of new material alongside the Record Machine's Saharan Gazelle Boy and local stalwarts Roman Numerals.
Do you need a dance party in Lawrence? The Floozies, with Beans and Cornbread and Inflect at the Bottleneck will throw down a set that's funky and danceworthy, but isn't Top 40 in Power & Light. The Floozies, a local duo composed of brothers, make every dance track and remix live, in the flesh. They call it "funk for aliens." Bonus: They promise lasers.
Or a dance party in KC? The obvious choice: Yeeeah Buddy. If you're partial to ass shaking, one of the finest bass-thumping dance parties in Kansas City happens at the Czar Bar. DJ Sku and Brent Tactic step up wax spinning to a new level with Dutch Newman as host.
Do you want a smattering of hip-hop and rock? Go see Appleseed Cast and Approach, with Minus Story and the Willnots at the Jackpot Music Hall. Two longtime, flagship Lawrence talents come back home to ring in 2011, and Minus Story reunites for the evening, too. Heat up with Approach's verses, then sail the night away on Appleseed Cast's otherworldly soundscapes.
Lookin' to stay put at one party, with all the perks? There's Kenny Neal, Big Bill Morganfield and Levee Town at Knuckleheads Saloon. Knuckleheads knows how to do it up right, including (says its website) "champagne for the midnight toast, a full night of entertainment, party favors, and late-night munchies." The only thing not included is a ride home. (We're pretty sure you can con a cab driver into making a trip to the East Bottoms, if he doesn't get lost, that is.) Neal is a modern swamp-blues player, and Big Bill Morganfield is Muddy Waters' son. Also featured: local bluesmen Levee Town.
Are you a whiskey drinker? Then Murder by Death, with Black Christmas, BaioWolf and Mansion at The Granada is your best choice. Murder by Death's dark and twisted Americana has more than a few lyrics about whiskey, so if that's your flavor of choice for New Year's Eve, this is your best bet. World-weary souls are likely to find Murder by Death's music a perfect balance of rage and moroseness: I drink whiskey instead of water/'cause I can't stand to be sober in this place.
Do you want a throw-down that's fancy and fun? Hearts of Darkness is playing with DJ P and DJ Just at Crosstown Station. Hearts of Darkness threatens to take your Afrobeat virginity. (Don't tell your dad.) Les Izmore recently tweeted: "If last night was your first date with us, then NYE is the night we'll 'go all the way.' " DJ P and DJ Just plan to spin dancers into a funky haze upstairs in the Press Lounge, too. It's a bit steep at $25, but it's going to be packed -- and well worth it.
Looking for a raucous, rockin' good time without the price tag? Try Them Damned Young Livers at Davey's Uptown. Expect hard-charging twangy punk from this bunch -- and plenty of reasons to headbang and cut a rug. The Livers play with the Uncouth and Johnny 2Tone, for a sweet 5 bucks.
Are you dead broke? Head over to the Union, a new bar in Westport. (Read more about it here.) Record Machine leader Nathan Reusch and Queens Club and Motorboater member Dan Eaton will be DJing the joint from 9 to 1, and Kenn Jankowski from the Republic Tigers will DJ from 1 to 3. The best part? It's free.
Do you want something a little more underground? Sniff out the Studded Bird -- it's a D.I.Y. venue, for the uninitiated -- and check out punk bands like Iron Question, Nature Boys, Toil and Switch Hitter. Stand in a warehouse and let your ears get pummeled.
Got some more ideas for NYE shows that won't suck? Throw 'em in the comments.