Friday, May 11, 2012

Jonah Qwerty on the horror musical 'Femme Assassin Guy'; shows at the Bottleneck this weekend

Posted By on Fri, May 11, 2012 at 7:55 AM

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One of Kansas' own is trying his hand at the rock musical genre and making a rather bloody splash. The project: Femme Assassin Guy. The story is about a musical sensation who uploads perfect-pitch murders to YouTube. We recently e-mailed with Jonah Qwerty, the maliciously delicious character known as Femme Assassin Guy, to find out about the show, and Qwerty's trials and tribulations. (You can see the madness of Qwerty at the Bottleneck on May 10, 11, and 12, at 8 p.m.. The 18-plus show is $11-$13.)

The Pitch: Can you tell us a bit about Femme Assassin Guy, and what the name/story is all about?

Qwerty: I'm Femme Assassin Guy. I created the name, you know, cause it, like, spells F.A.G. and speaks to who I am and what I do. I'm sure you've seen the videos. I became the international pop sensation that I am today for uploading musicalized murders to YouTube. First there was that politically connected attorney whose cock I bit off in Gage Park, who can forget when I raped and crucified that sign waving Reverend, and the kidnapping of the Senator's boy? Priceless.

Is this the same show you put on in Lawrence this winter?

My life is a show. How could I put on the same show today that I did this winter considering all that has occurred since then, particularly between myself and Michael {a Qwerty ex}. He's cost me nearly everything, but he's the one who will lose the most in the end, you can count on that, baby.

Will you perform this elsewhere or is this a special, three-night event?

I have no idea what's going to happen May 10, 11, and 12. This breakup has been incredibly difficult, and the only way I have been able to heal is through creation. My own story, Femme Assassin Guy, doesn't inspire me anymore. I'm sick of singing about the fact that I was molested by my foster brother when I was seven and my parents killed each other, and I turned tricks all those years before the killing started - blah, blah, blah. I've performed it a thousand times and I'm sick of it. But yeah, I'll perform elsewhere. I'll never stop, until I'm caught, and I'll never get caught. But never the same show, because I am person who grows. I never repeat myself. I'll be performing all over the world. Lately I've been dreaming of Paris.

I'm obsessed with these characters; it's kind of me and Michael, but fictionalized, Billy and Bobby. It's this abusive, co-dependent relationship and I'm telling that story right now, documenting Bobby's transition out of the darkness and towards confidence and independence, in the hope that I'll discover it for myself. My "paid friend" (not the prostitute kind) calls it a creative intervention. So, maybe I will show up at Bottleneck and sing about those guys. When Michael forced me out, he destroyed everything. I'm a one-man show now baby, the snitch and the witch and the bitch were my clique, but I'm sick and I scared them away. So, yea, no cast, no band, no promotion. I'd still rather be failing hard core that tortured by that sick motherfucker. Michael, you can rot in hell, I'll NEVER come back to you, sick fuck.

I assume there are many songs in this - - are you musically inclined, and did you have help writing these portions of the show? What's your favorite song?

I wrote all the songs, and arranged them myself. It's all from me. I don't know how musically inclined I am, but I can't stop doing it; if I did I'd be dead. I write and sing songs. That's me at my core. That's the thing, long before I ever killed anybody there was the music. Hence a musical. My favorite song?! Of my own? They are my children I refuse to choose just one. Bring Me Down has been with me the longest. Here is my favorite song right now: http://db.tt/8d98zANE either that one or this one: http://db.tt/6OzMWFKo But of course neither of these is supposed to be in my show since it's supposed to be purely autobiographical. So Michael would always slam into my head, but I guess he doesn't get to have a say anymore. I love "Stoner Ballad".

What are some of your favorite horror rock musicals?

My favorite horror rock musicals? The classics I guess, Rocky Horror, Evil Dead, Zombie Prom, Repo, Cannibal the Musical, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Cabaret, Chicago, I guess some of these aren't really horror, but I love them and they definitely inspire me. Lately I'm really into cowboys though, which is different. My absolute favorite color these days is actually plaid, isn't that a stitch? I guess that isn't really a color as much as an emotion.

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