Where We Pee

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Pee Party: D.B. Cooper's on 39th Street

The continued exploration of KC's bathrooms.

Posted by on Wed, Sep 5, 2012 at 8:09 AM

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Pee Party is an irregular column where we investigate bar restrooms.

I adore D.B. Cooper's, the bar at 1804 West 39th Street. My friend and I have a standing weekly appointment to slide into one of the dimly lit dive’s booths and debrief over $5 pitchers of PBR and Schlitz served in frosted mugs. The newish digital jukebox lacks the charm of the place’s old CD-playing one, but its bizarre catalogue includes enough Third Eye Blind, Hootie and the Blowfish, the Divinyls and Brooke Hogan to keep us entertained (and other patrons annoyed with us).

Besides the cheap drinks and challenging music, the bar is great for talking. The full-time barflies tend to scram when the post-work rush begins. And there’s usually a quiet pocket between the office crowd’s departure and the nighttime rush — a wonderful time to be there.

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  • The continued exploration of KC's bathrooms.

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Monday, February 27, 2012

Pee Party: Ernie Biggs Dueling Piano Bar in Westport

We go inside the bathrooms of the dueling piano bar.

Posted by on Mon, Feb 27, 2012 at 9:06 AM

From the Ernie Biggs website.
  • From the Ernie Biggs website.
I hang out in Westport a couple of nights a week, every week, but I don't think I knew that the bar to the west of Buzzard Beach was called Ernie Biggs until last summer. I always just knew it as That Dueling Piano Bar That Of Course I Have No Reason To Walk Into. A few months ago, I learned that Biggs (I call it Biggs for short now) kills it on Wednesdays, when the bar offers $1 wells and $1 drafts ALL NIGHT, which is until 1:30 a.m. That's some college-town shit.

Biggs also turned up on my radar this past December, when I heard that Muscle Worship was scheduled to play there on a Sunday night, which struck me as unusual. That show didn't end up panning out, but then last Sunday, I heard the Claque had a gig there, so I figured it was time to investigate. I went, and I saw the Claque blast some rawk, and I drank some $1 Pabst, and I'll tell you what else I did: I urinated. A couple of times, in fact.

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  • We go inside the bathrooms of the dueling piano bar.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Pee Party: 1911 Main

A look at the bathrooms of 1911 Main.

Posted by on Tue, Nov 8, 2011 at 10:03 AM

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Pee Party is an irregular column where we investigate bar restrooms.

So you might be aware that there's a new jazz club in town, in the old Bar Natasha space - 1911 Main is its name and address. Check out this week's issue, out tomorrow, to read about Alejandro Escovedo's show there this Thursday. More to the point, though: I've stopped by a handful of times, for shows and for lunch — they serve jazz food — and while I was there, I visited the restrooms.

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  • A look at the bathrooms of 1911 Main.

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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Pee Party: The Red Balloon karaoke bar

Rating the bathrooms at The Red Balloon.

Posted by on Tue, Oct 11, 2011 at 8:07 AM

Welcome to the Red Balloon!
  • Welcome to the Red Balloon!
Pee Party is a regular column where we investigate bar restrooms.

My friend turned 30 last Thursday. We went out for dinner, and afterward, about 10 of us piled into a conversion van and drove out to the Red Balloon, a bar just west of Switzer on 75th Street that offers karaoke every night of the week. You might think the mood at such a place would be festive and friendly. This is not, generally speaking, the case at the Red Balloon. Every time I've been there, the regulars eye my party with suspicion, and the bartenders check our IDs way too carefully. It's kind of a dark scene. There are also some dead-serious karaoke singers who hang out there, who do not think it is funny when people like me and my friends waltz in all drunk and perform fake-dead-serious, deeply condescending versions of songs like "Hero" by Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. At one point, a bald man who apparently serves some kind of managerial role there, got up to sing some dumb song and stopped a third of the way through, citing issues with the sound mix. He just stood on the stage fuming and staring at the words on the screen until the song was over. Then he went over and got in the emcee/sound guy's face. He was pretty fired up. Then he stormed off to the bar and ordered a shot. It was all pretty weird.

Anyway, the restrooms: They're fucking nasty.

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  • Rating the bathrooms at The Red Balloon.

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Thursday, December 16, 2010

Where We Pee: Johnnie's on 7th

Posted by on Thu, Dec 16, 2010 at 7:34 AM

KCK, baby.
  • KCK, baby.
Where We Pee is a weekly look at the excretory facilities of the music venues and cool-kid hangouts around town

Johnnie's is an old bar on 7th Street in KCK that was reopened last month by former Harlings bartender Chris O'Connor. I've been there about three times since it opened, and you know I'm urinating multiple times per night, son! 

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Friday, December 10, 2010

Where We Pee: Extreme Soft Opening Edition at the Union of Westport

Posted by on Fri, Dec 10, 2010 at 1:08 PM

click to enlarge Via Yelp.
​Where We Pee is a weekly look at the excretory facilities of the music venues and cool-kid hangouts around town.

Blayney's in Westport closed about a year and a half ago, but really it died years before that. Not to stomp on its grave or anything, but in its final years it lacked a certain mojo. This week, the space was resurrected as the Union of Westport. I don't know all the specifics, but I know Megan Hamilton is involved at a high level, which gives the place a certain amount of cred. 

On Wednesday, they had what I heard was a "soft opening," which is a phrase I do not understand. I mean, the bar was open. I walked by and the door was open and I walked inside. I would just call that a "This bar is open now." But whatever. I went there to photograph their restrooms. 

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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Where We Pee: The Record Bar

Posted by on Tue, Sep 28, 2010 at 12:29 PM

click to enlarge Sure, the Record Bar is a first-rate music venue. But what is it like to urinate inside its walls?
  • Sure, the Record Bar is a first-rate music venue. But what is it like to urinate inside its walls?
Where We Pee is a weekly look at the excretory facilities of the music venues and cool-kid hangouts around town. 

This weekend, the Record Bar celebrates its five-year anniversary with four days of live music from some very great local and national acts. The place is so embedded in our music scene that it's hard to imagine a time without it, and here at Wayward we offer our sincerest congratulations on this milestone. But Where We Pee does not get choked up about such milestones; its cold heart cares only about restroom comfort levels. And so we report.  

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Thursday, August 26, 2010

Where We Pee: Harling's Upstairs

Posted by on Thu, Aug 26, 2010 at 11:43 AM

click to enlarge Harling's has restrooms for men, and also women. 
  • Harling's has restrooms for men, and also women. 

Walking into Harling's mens' room is like being gassed with a hundred years of piss particles. It's nasty in there, man -- one of the city's worst. On a bad night, it's better to just hold it. 

It's probably my favorite bar in the city. 

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Where We Pee: Kelly's Westport Inn

Posted by on Wed, Aug 18, 2010 at 9:12 AM

click to enlarge Kelly's has a new rooftop deck -- and a new restroom for urinating in.
  • Kelly's has a new rooftop deck -- and a new restroom for urinating in.
Where We Pee is a weekly look at the excretory facilities of the music venues and cool-kid hangouts around town.

It is said that the building Kelly's calls home is the oldest in all of Kansas City. The oldest in the entire city! Nothing to sneeze at! 

But times change, of course, oh do they change, and this year Kelly's had a rooftop deck constructed upstairs. It's a good-looking deck, and you know what else? There's new restrooms up there.  

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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Where We Pee: Harry's Bar & Tables in Westport

Posted by on Tue, Aug 10, 2010 at 12:45 PM

click to enlarge IMG_1301.jpg

No bar in the city makes more money off me than Harry's Bar & Tables. Partly, this is due to its drinks being a little on the pricy side. But I view those $3.50 Budweisers as a premium I'm paying for reliable darkness, bartenders who remember me, a generally laid-back clientele and the best patio in the city. The restrooms? Well, let's have a looksie. 

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